Empower Your Soul

(Ditch the) Passwords in Mediumship

• Medium Nicole • Season 1 • Episode 70

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Have you ever felt the weight of expectations during a mediumship reading? Our latest podcast episode dives into a fascinating yet often misunderstood aspect of spiritual communication: the concept of “passwords.” Many clients come into readings hoping for specific words or phrases that would serve as undeniable proof of their loved ones’ presence. However, this quest for passwords can unnecessarily complicate and hinder authentic connections with the spirit world.

In this engaging episode, we explore why holding onto those expectations can create emotional blockages and a constricted energy that affects both mediums and clients. Personal narratives illustrate the challenges inherent in the connection process when focusing too heavily on preconceived notions of how communication should unfold. We provide insights on shifting your mindset to cultivate open channels for spirit messages and encourage a holistic approach to receiving information that transcends names or specific validations.

Join us as we share mindfulness strategies for both mediums and clients, enhancing the overall experience of connection with departed loved ones. Don’t miss out on this profound exploration of how letting go of rigid expectations can usher in a more fulfilling and meaningful spiritual experience. Tune in now, and prepare to reshape your understanding of mediumship!

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Speaker 1:

Hello everyone, welcome back to Empower your Soul podcast. I'm super excited for I'm excited for every episode. Can I just be real with you? I don't talk about this stuff unless I'm passionate about it and I don't always have the answers, like I said in the last one. But I am really excited about this one because this has been on my brain probably for about two decades now and it was really prevalent in a lot of my readings last week and there's no judgment from anything that I say here.

Speaker 1:

But I love how spirit works through me because I want to talk about passwords and mediumships and I'm going to just use the word passwords. But when I talk about passwords it is the expectation that people have for their departed loved ones to come through and give a specific word, a specific information, like very specific pieces of evidence that will essentially prove to my clients that they are loved ones in heaven. It is actually them and it's just really interesting to me and I know mediums talk about this kind of thing all the time and I have been asking Spirit over the past couple weeks to give me information about passwords and, like clockwork, spirit gives me exactly what I asked for because I'm just like I don't I really want to talk about. I'm just like I don't I really want to talk about this on the podcast. I don't fully understand it. So I always kind of caveat that with my team I'm like I don't fully understand it. So can you just give me a whole bunch of things over the next couple of weeks before I record this podcast, so that I can kind of piece this together a little bit? So this is my attempt to do so. Again, I don't feel like I have all the answers here, but it's so prevalent because a lot of mediums want the passwords, a lot of clients want the passwords, but it's not how it works and we're going to talk about that a little bit today. Oh man, there's so many emotions and things going through my brain so I'm going to probably get like flustered in this. If you can read my energy, you're going to, you're going to hear me get kind of feel me, get kind of pissed off a little bit.

Speaker 1:

But it's just so interesting because a lot of people including me when I was little right have this idea of passwords and like even to the point where Kyle Gray and I love Kyle Gray Like have you seen him? He's adorable where Kyle Gray and I love Kyle Gray like have you seen him? He's adorable, he's Scottish, he has the angel numbers book, he has a whole bunch of Oracle to card decks. But there was a time, probably earlier this year or late last year, where he on on Facebook or Instagram posted that his mom departed, they had a password and he had been to a medium that said the password right, and he's like everyone should be choosing passwords with their loved ones so that you'll know for a fact that it's them. This is a dude in the metaphysical space, essentially setting completely unrealistic expectations. Thanks, kyle Gray. You've taken mediumship and did a Donald Trump and made it go backwards, right, like that's essentially what he did. I'm sorry, if you're a Donald Trump fan, you kind of know where I stand with that.

Speaker 1:

So what, what that can look like, what passwords can look like, are essentially specific phrases, names, nicknames, specific memories, things that are going on right now that only the deceased would know, and this is just, I'm going to say, like a newer thing. I'm going to say newer because, no, I was always the thing I'm hearing spirits say in my mind, but I think the prevalency is pretty rampant because of misinformation out there on social media Because I think a lot of people talk about using passwords and how you know, we're a bunch of charlatans and we take advantage of people and their grief and, like you, do a password because it's going to be undeniable proof that it's your loved one, because you can't cold read a password, and I understand that, and I understand that people want concrete evidence that their loved ones are on the other side. I get it, and a lot of this is driven by people who do not understand how energy works, how spirit communicates, etc. But despite all of the people saying, choose a password, and despite all of the medium saying it doesn't work that way, we are still even myself are having clients that come in kind of wanting spirit to say certain things. And here's the really tricky part as a medium, I really, really want to give that information to my sitters. Like who wouldn't right? What medium, coming from high integrity, would not want to do everything that they can to pull the information to make my clients happy, right? And this is a huge point of contention for me, because I want to do everything my clients want me to do. I wish I was capable of all of that.

Speaker 1:

I feel like for the most part I am, but what happens is that setting the password or setting specific expectations so passwords or very high expectations about who you want to come through, what do you want them to say, what do you want them to talk about that essentially creates, I'm going to say, a tunnel for the information. And when I say the tunnel for the information, it could be so if you think about tunnels, right, like there's so many different ways you can go through a mountain, you can go over a mountain right, like you can walk over the mountain, you can fly over the mountain. There's all this space that can go over the mountain. This is probably not the best analogy, apologies. Or you can take that tunnel to go through the mountain right. So they want us to take the tunnel through the mountain to prove that your loved ones are there on the other side. I get it Fastest, most direct route as an efficiency expert. I fucking love it. Right.

Speaker 1:

But it doesn't work that way, because what you do when you're in that tunnel and the client's sitting in that tunnel, like they're in the mountain, waiting in that tunnel for that specific evidence and they will not hear anything else that is outside of that tunnel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great, but what else do they have to say? What else do they have to say? So, as you have clients in these readings that are in these tunnels and I'm providing stuff about the mountainside, about the sky, about relate, right like everything but they want me to talk about, what happens essentially is that tunnel, which I'm going to say is, you know, your equivalent to the connection with spirit gets smaller and smaller and smaller because I am not meeting my clients expectations and, as a result, what is happening is they're getting emotional, which is what I said was going to happen, right, they're getting emotional, they're getting frustrated. What happens when we get emotional and frustrated? We lower our vibration.

Speaker 1:

It gets harder to connect to spirit and in mediumship readings, it's not just my energy, it's the client's readings, client's energy too. So when they are coming from a place of high expectation and I'm not delivering on it, they're getting upset and they're constricting their energy and it's making it harder and harder and harder to read, and that's why passwords fucking suck. Okay, that's why high expectations fucking suck, because I, no matter what I do in these readings, I will never be able to overcome the constricted energy of my clients and it ends up with a complete shit reading. And I'm sorry, I'll tell you what. I don't refund those sessions Because I've said in my FAQ, in my reading thing, I am not responsible for what spirit come pulls through. It is up to them. I have no control over the words or what is said and similarly, I have no control over the clients either in their energy.

Speaker 1:

So because, so like, I try to put everything I can on my website about like, don't come in with expectations, and still, you know, I find it ironic. Twice last week I had those clients and let me, let me remind you I'm not new at this Like, like, I feel like I'm, I'm pretty, everyone has places to go, there's always room for improvement, but I feel like I'm pretty dang good at this right Like, I can get lots of really good information. So, in two of the readings so let me talk about those one at a time because in the first reading, oh, my heart went out to this woman and I just and she, I think she was expecting me there was like one or two pieces of evidence that she was really hoping to hear for from hear about. Sorry, hear me say, but I didn't get to it and I don't remember what specifically it was I don't know if there was a birthday or something but essentially because she had expectations of what she wanted to hear, but she didn't let it get stuck, because she listened to all the other evidence. The reading went relatively well. At the end she's like well, why didn't he talk about this? And I'm like I'm so sorry, like maybe there's a reason and I'll talk about that why we might not be able to get passwords or why we don't get passwords, frankly, but she was open to not only being in the tunnel, she was, it's almost like she was at the end of the tunnel, so like she was really hoping for the information, but she was still receptive to everything that came around. So that was fine. I'm okay with those readings because they're still living, leaving space to get other information besides the one specific pieces of evidence they want.

Speaker 1:

But my other reading, I'm hesitating because I don't want to sound like a total asshole and I know that this is the reality of this work. So when I say this, please know it comes without judgment, although as the person who's the medium, I'm a little frustrated about it. But that's me. That's me and my personality and wanting to do my best for my clients, right? The other person walked in and I'm sorry if this is you, I love you, I promise, I promise, I know you're an amazing person but walked in saying no one has been able to pull my parents before, right, and I'm like, okay, well, you know, I have a pretty good track record, I'll give it a go.

Speaker 1:

And as we were going on, the energy got thicker and thicker and thicker and there was a point about three quarters of the way and I'm you know I'm doing okay, it's not great, I'm able. They were really sticky, but that's fine. The two parents it was really hard to pull them apart. It's like the more I pulled them apart, like I tried to read the dad and everything I read about the dad was for the mom. It was really weird. The energy was just wonky and it doesn't happen like that pretty much ever, so I'm not sure what was going on. And then the reading after that I think I already talked about this was fantastic. So I like I know it wasn't in this instance, I know it wasn't me, because the reading right after was fucking phenomenal. And this reading was complete shit. Right, complete shit. I'll admit it it was. But again, as we were going on, it was.

Speaker 1:

It was harder and harder and harder to get the information out and get it out accurately. Like it just kept getting worse and worse and worse and about three quarters of the way through I was just like listen, I don't know what's going on. This never happens in my readings. And I said why don't we both just take a deep breath, reset our energy and release any expectations we have? Okay, so we did that. We both breathed in, breathed out, and then I was like and here's what I'm going to do. I'm just going to channel whatever the message that comes through and hoping that she gives your parents give evidence while they're channeling the message. And they certainly did Like to the point where, even though it wasn't what my client wanted to hear, the information could be taken. It was accurate. We were talking about her childhood, we were talking about her mom, we were talking about the relationship with her dad and, like it was, it was a good fucking 15 minute, like rest of the call, like meeting reading, where I was pulling out accurate evidence.

Speaker 1:

But again, it wasn't what she wanted to hear and she kind of said that at the end she's like I'm really sorry, I came in this with, like, really heavy expectations. I'm glad you reset and had me release the expectations to let the information flow, and that's exactly what happened, because when she released the expectations, the energy moved again. So this is what is so hard about passwords and evidence from clients is because they're wanting certain things. Don't get stuck in that tunnel because the likelihood that you're going to get the information right is so reduced, and then that tunnel tunnel will get smaller and smaller and smaller, and it's a fantastic way to throw away a couple hundred bucks right, like, like, really, that's a fantastic way, as a client, to do that. So here's, here's how. Here's maybe what I would recommend you do and I know I'm missing something, but I'm going to have to tell spirit to bring it back to me. Here's what I recommend you do as a client.

Speaker 1:

If you do have high expectations and or you have passwords, I'm going to tell you what the heck is the point of this, right, like, are you really looking for proof of the other side and do you really think that one piece of information is enough? Or, you know, because I mean, like I said before on this podcast, like, aren't we past that point of believing that this is real? I know skeptics are still out there, I get it, and if you're listening to this, I know that you're not a skeptic but like, aren't most people somewhat curious or open to this, even if they're not sure if it's real or not, versus, like people that want to come in and like, cross their arms over their chest and be like, prove it to me, because I really don't get that many people, and thank God I don't get that many people. But here's what I'm going to say instead, because it shouldn't be about. To me personally, it shouldn't be about mediumship, should not just be about proving life after death, which I think should come from evidence, right, it should be more about bringing in the energy of the loved ones and being in their presence again. That is what's more important to me. So it's more about the intention of the energy and being in the space with them again and me being able to not only prove who it is through evidence, but also bring through the personality and make it feel like they are literally sitting there talking to you again, especially if I can get certain phrases or certain mannerisms that they did right. So I'm going to tell you to let spirit guide the evidence, because they're perfect and they know exactly what needs to get said and done Right.

Speaker 1:

And and I also want you to think about, it's not just about you, okay, it's not just. It's not just about you as the client. I'm sorry, I know you paid for the session. I used to start all my sessions like this. I know you paid for the session, but I actually work for the spirit team. I work for your departed loved ones. You are just the one facilitating the transaction, but they are the ones doing the work here.

Speaker 1:

So what I'd like to provide a perspective on is your departed loved ones might have completely different priorities in this reading, right? So they might see that you're a hot fucking mess and that, like your birthday is coming up soon and like you haven't done anything with your life, right, so they might come through saying yada, yada, yada. This is me, but let's talk about you and how fucking off track you are and what you need to do to get back on track right. Because, again, if you were on the other side, if you were the departed person coming through in these readings, would you really bend over backwards for 30 minutes 40, 45 minutes an hour, with proof of this is me, I mean, I think, for sometimes that's appropriate, but for the most part, wouldn't you want to be like, well, if I'm gonna spend this energy and connect with you, I'm gonna give you some awesome information and advice for you to move forward in your life? Right? Confirmation of I'm around you, let you know I'm still with you. Right?

Speaker 1:

It's not just about proving I'm there on the other side because you came to a medium. Don't you already believe that? Like, don't you already believe that? So it's just a couple of perspectives, right? It's interesting, right, because clients come with their own intentions. Spirits are kind of coming with similar intentions. They want their, their loved one, to be happy, but also they have their own priorities too. And then the mediums just trying to fucking facilitate this and navigate all these different expectations. It's not easy. Everybody, it's not easy.

Speaker 1:

So if you are a client during the reading, I'm just going to ask you be open to giving different, different forms of evidence, like, and it could be anything. Sometimes it's really specific. You know, I'm working on names right now. Sometimes it's names, sometimes it's very broad, sometimes it's personality, and it's sometimes like, if you take each individual form of evidence, you could probably tell me that I'm a scam artist, right? But if you take the culmination of all the evidence together, that's when you get the persona, the personality of the person.

Speaker 1:

In addition, I would also say for you as the client, I want you to be present in the moment, which is why I record every single one of my sessions, because I don't want you sitting there taking notes the whole time. What did they say? What did they say? What did they say? I would much rather you sit in the moment and the energy of what we're trying to communicate, this communication triangle between you, me and spirit, so that you can just enjoy it, right, because that actually creates a lovely energy onto itself and it helps it flow and it helps the connection get even better. So, if you have a checklist that you're looking at me to fill out while I'm giving this evidence, I guarantee it's going to create constriction in the energy anyway. So, just like, sit back and sit, sit back and relax, um.

Speaker 1:

And if you're going to a medium that doesn't record it, you know, just ask if you can record it on your phone. Or like the audio, um, I don't know. I know that some mediums are like heck, no to that stuff, but I'm not one of them. And then anything that doesn't match your expectations there's. There's so many different ways I can go here, but I'm just gonna say sometimes the medium gets it wrong, so don't get hung up on anything. But some of that stuff you might see coming in the future, like if they say balloons, you might end up seeing balloons in the future even though it's nobody's birthday. So like, just be open to it. I would take those items with a grain of salt. No-transcript what you think. And and um, if you do want mom and she hasn't come through, maybe like halfway through you'd be like, hey, you mind, um, seeing if mom's around, because that's okay too.

Speaker 1:

But usually spirit will bring in another like spirit will bring in a spirit. It's like cocktail hour over here. Spirit will bring in a spirit that resonates best with the mediums energy first, to get the vibration high and to get the reading going on a really good foot. So just FYI there. And then for mediums I kind of talked about this already If you have a client with really high expectations, I here's what I like to do. So before the reading especially when I started this work.

Speaker 1:

I would set very clear expectations about this. You know I would say I work for the spirit. I have no say in what what's coming through, and you know we are limited in our perception to receive information, which is why, like and you can say that you can say all the information has to come through me. I have to have a basis for this information from to flow through me, interpret it and back out to you. So anything they're going to say, it has to be part of, kind of like, my mental vocabulary, so to speak. Right, um, and you can talk about creating you know how it's an authentic connection, safe environment. Right, like you can.

Speaker 1:

But anything you want to say before a session, I'm going to say that set expectations with the client but also makes you feel good. Do it, absolutely do it. They don't mind. They don't mind and it's not a CYA, it's almost like when I say it, I'm not only saying it to the client, it's like I'm saying it to the spirit world as well. I'm setting expectations with them too. So it's just for me. I get a very I personally get a sense of peace when I give those little introductions. So that's kind of why I do it. I feel like clients generally know what they're walking into. But again, good to do good practice, to do it anyway.

Speaker 1:

No-transcript. A deep breath. This energy is really thick right now. Can, can we just take a breath and like, release all expectations and re and just be here in the present moment, cause you can stop, the clients don't care, you can stop and do that Absolutely. Um, and then here's the really sensitive part for me.

Speaker 1:

I walked away from both of these sessions, literally processing them in my head and I'm literally yelling at spirit. Why didn't you give me that? Why didn't you give me that? Because I'm an asshole. I told you this. I'll say it. I'll say it till the day I die. I'm an asshole. So yell at the dead people that I brought through.

Speaker 1:

I'll first thank them for for being here and helping facilitate the conversation and I'll be like what the fuck? Why didn't you bring me that? They must love working with me. They must love it. I know it's sacred work, but sometimes you got to give spirit the tough love too. And, honest to God, I've had them now tell me I didn't give that to you Because I didn't give that to you, or I tried, but I couldn't get it through right. They'll actually explain, like, what fucking happened, which is so cool for me to hear that and I'm like, oh okay, well, thanks for trying, oh, okay.

Speaker 1:

And then I just have to walk away essentially with this knowing or, even though I don't know it, even though I'm frustrated about it, with this understanding that they brought through what they were supposed to bring through. And then the piece that keeps eluding me and going in and out, and now I'm supposed to talk about it is I want you to know that the evidence you bring through tends to be directly related to the message that you are supposed to give these clients. So I always think about the evidence as priming the pump for the really big message that's to come. And I can tell you that is absolutely true. In demonstrations, 100%, you have like 10, 15, maybe max pieces of evidence that you're supposed to be bringing through before you deliver message. I mean, these are like seven minute readings right In demonstrations and in the larger group sessions.

Speaker 1:

So you literally have to bring through exactly what it's going to get you ready to whatever message you're going to deliver. So, again, spirit is perfect and all knowing and what evidence you need to move your mind into what's the message that they really need to hear today so that they can move forward and they can kind of dig themselves out of whatever hole they're digging in. So you again have to trust the evidence and how it lines to the message, and that's why we don't always get all the evidence that you expect us to. That's why the evidence tends, for me personally to be very inconsistent between all the different readings is because they're priming me to get to bring the big messages through and I wouldn't be in that headspace if they didn't bring like, for example, if, if you're having trouble with your kid at home, maybe they talk about how this mom was a pain in the ass and she was mean to her kids, right, and how she had really high expectations and how she held them really accountable to doing chores, making the bed every day and that's part of the evidence I'm bringing through for this mom. And then that directly relates to her my client being a mom, and how she's treating her kids and how she's a wonderful mother and how she's patient and kind and loving, and the message in that is like you need to keep doing that. I'm sorry, I was the way they are. You're parenting, right? I'm sorry, I judged you for that, right. So that's what I mean how the evidence flows. So pay attention, like if you're a medium, pay attention to that, pay attention to the evidence you bring through in the message. And once I saw that there was a link between those, it was like mind blowing. I just blew up my mind right there with that sound for those of you listening on audio only like mind blowing. So that is like the freaking cool thing about Spirit is that the passwords are all about the expectations of the client and what I'm cracking up about now and I see Spirit. I wrote some notes and they just like erase them in my mind. They're like.

Speaker 1:

You're not going into any of that, but I do want to talk about how, in my latest weekend of shamanism training I don't know if I'm going to do a podcast on it, because I was I got to catch up. I was only there for half of it or quarter of it. In the latest weekend In my shaman training, do you know what the topic was? Passwords. It was passwords and we spent the whole first day talking about the construct of words and how they are such a human thing and how, like, what is the purpose of words?

Speaker 1:

Words are our truth. Words are the first thing that allow us to communicate with people. We identify with certain words, like we have names, like these are all ego-driven representations of us here in the physical and I'm not going to dive too deep into this because I have not fully processed this yet, this yet. So if you think about passwords, if you think about names, they are the client's version of the expectation of their loved ones. It is my truth that if my grandfather comes through, he's going to say blue banana, or he's going to talk about how he grew up in Brooklyn, right. And if my sitter doesn't really know Brooklyn, maybe my or my medium, if my medium's in the UK doesn't really know Brooklyn, maybe knows New York city but not Brooklyn, or doesn't, doesn't have, doesn't know about blue bananas I don't know who does we're not going to be able to go through there.

Speaker 1:

But does that mean that that medium failed? Or does that mean that I need that, where I need to hear that word for my ego, for my human, for me to know and feel safe and feel comfortable because those words are my truth. And when I hear those words as my truth spoken by somebody else, I feel validated, I feel good, right, is this just mind blowing? And again, I'm still processing this. But isn't that just like? Because words are such a human thing? They're such a human thing to the point where I'm doing readings and I'm channeling spirit and it literally happened right before this spirit and it literally happened right before this and I forget basic ass words. I forget basic words that are in my vocabulary, I use regularly and I can't remember the words. And I'll describe it and they're dumb words. It's not like they're PhD words at all, they're like third grade words. But I will forget words because words are such a human fucking construct. We'll forget words because words are such a human fucking construct. And so we're asking spirit to fit their energy and change it into our human constructs. Not only are we asking them to give this information in a way that us humans can understand it, by sending information through the clearance, but now we're asking them specifically, not just to give me like words that describe them, but give me like specific words just to fulfill the ego of our clients.

Speaker 1:

If we were meant to know spirit exists with 100%, no doubts, why wouldn't we come here? Knowing our history. Why wouldn't we come here knowing our past lives? Why would we live in a world where we can't see spirit? Most of us 99% of us right Like where is the hope, the love, the joy in that? I don't know. This is where my brain starts going in circles and I just don't even know what to do with this information. So I think I will likely leave it there.

Speaker 1:

But again, this has been such a incredible journey with spirit, literally over the past two weeks, talking about passwords, getting nuggets of gold from other mediums, like like getting nuggets of gold from my shaman class. It was just so cool to be like I need information on this topic, spirit, because I don't know where I'm supposed to take this and I don't know where I stand with it. Besides, I would personally really like to know the passwords, and I'm not meant to know the passwords, and they showed me through many different avenues why that was true. So I think that is the perfect way Number for me to do this podcast from now on. So if you have tough questions, let me know and then give me a couple of weeks. I'll ask my team to bring it to me.

Speaker 1:

But then, number two I think this is a perfect example of how it might be helpful for you to work with spirit as well, because if you're asking for perspective, if you don't know an answer, or you're asking for perspective, or you've been given one breadcrumb and you're you don't know the full picture yet. That's when you can say hey, spirit, can you tell me, can you send it to me? And then just wait for the right information to be received at the right time to piece it together. And again, I'm walking away from the saying I still don't really understand this. I understand the password thing, but then that bigger perspective of like the construct of words and human versus ego and spirit, like that makes my brain hurt. So I'm gonna have to think about that a little bit more.

Speaker 1:

But yeah, how do you feel about passwords? Right? How do you feel? Are you a medium and do you load them like mediumships hard enough? I'm so sorry for those of you that are mediums doing this work, but how cool was that? I just want to say this was a really fun episode to really think about construct, deconstruct, put together again and again. I'm still kind of lost with the passwords. But there we go. All right, that's all I had for today. I hope you all have a wonderful, wonderful day and, for the love of God, don't ask for a hope. You all have a wonderful, wonderful day. And, for the love of God, don't ask for a password from me. All right, take care, love you.

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