Empower Your Soul

Going Out In Style: A Beautician’s Last Goodbye

• Medium Nicole • Season 1 • Episode 100

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The veil between worlds thinned dramatically the night I accompanied my best friend Kim to fulfill a promise 20 years in the making - styling her beloved client Carol's hair for her funeral. What began as emotional support for my friend transformed into one of the most profound spiritual experiences of my life.

Standing in that funeral home, the energy was so palpable it took my breath away. Not simply the expected heaviness of grief, but something far more complex and revelatory. As Kim meticulously styled Carol's hair with the same tools she'd used throughout their decades-long relationship, I witnessed something extraordinary - a gathering of souls. Carol's departed loved ones sat in the chairs beside us, paying their respects just as we do in the physical realm. This wasn't metaphorical; their presence was unmistakable, challenging everything I thought I understood about the afterlife.

Most fascinating was how our emotions flowed through this sacred space - oscillating between tears, laughter, and quiet reflection as Kim shared stories about her hilarious, spirited client. When Kim joked "you have enough hairspray for eternity," I distinctly heard Carol's spirit respond with humor. This experience crystallized a profound truth: grief manifests in myriad ways, and those who care for the deceased perform deeply sacred work, providing closure not just for the living but for souls transitioning and their spiritual families. As Kim later told her daughter, Carol simply "borrowed a body in the shell, outgrew it, and moved on to another journey." What a beautiful perspective that forever changed my approach to mediumship and deepened my understanding of life, death, and the thin veil between them. Does this story resonate with your own experiences of loss and spiritual connection? Share your thoughts with us.

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Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome back to empower your soul. I am here today to tell the story of my dear best friend, slash hairstylist yes, she's the one who keeps my hair looking gorgeous all the time and how she recently did the hair for her beloved client of 20 years for her funeral services. Right, and it's just. This was such a touching moment, a touching story, that she invited me to be a part of, and I'm so honored that she asked me to be there for her emotional support during this time. And I asked her if it's okay to share this story and she said yes, and I was going to change the name of her client, but her client will not let me record this. She's interrupted me several times as I started to record this several times. She wants me to use her name, so her name is Carol. Hi, carol, thanks for being okay with us, and I want to talk about this amazing moment that had so much emotion and depth and understanding, and also a little bit of perspective from the other side about what it's like for funeral excuse me, funeral services as well. So let's go there, let's talk about this and just to give you a level set on my amazing best friend, kim. She is truly one of a kind. She's such an amazing heart led person. She is the ultimate optimist. She is one of the hardest working women I know and she really stands by her incredible values, as you're going to see in here in this episode today. So, kim, thank you so much. I'm so blessed to be a part of your circle, part of your soul, family and girl. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you.

Speaker 1:

So let's talk about this adventure to the funeral home that we had and how like it was. Just this mind, this mind blowing evening. That only lasted like an hour and a half, but I walked away gobsmacked, absolutely gobsmacked. So, to rewind the story a little bit, this client Carol had been a client of Kim's for over 20 years, came to her all the time. She's really funny, she's got a ton of personality to her, and she continuously told Kim when I die, I want you to do my hair to her. And she continuously told Kim when I die, I want you to do my hair. And as Kim found out she passed. She reached out to the family, said hey, I, she wanted me to do her hair. Would you mind if I did her hair for the services. They were fine with it. She called the funeral home, and that's how we ended up on this Thursday evening the two of us standing outside the funeral home with her with her backpack full of all of her hairstylist hairstyling tools and sprays, and a bag of makeup. She didn't need it, though, and we walked in together as we got into the room where Carol was beautifully placed in the coffin.

Speaker 1:

As I passed the threshold from this wooden floor to this red carpeted you know what I'm talking about the funeral home carpet, I cannot even tell you the energy of that room. When I crossed that threshold, the energy of that room took my breath away. It was so strong, and I wouldn't say it was bad. I wouldn't say the energy was bad, I wouldn't say the energy was good, it was just really strong and I wouldn't say it was bad. I wouldn't say the energy was bad, I wouldn't say the energy was good, it was just really strong.

Speaker 1:

You could tell there was a lot of energy in that room, and so I looked left, and to our left was the first row of chairs that you typically see, you know, at a wake, at a funeral, in the funeral home and I looked left and I saw five of her loved ones sitting there paying respects to her body, paying respects to Carol's life. I could see them sitting there, mourning with tissues hunched over, and I could probably deduce who I thought I saw that day, but without confidence of knowing. I feel like her dad was there, I feel like her mom was there. Her departed husband was there. Like I could, I could, and I saw a younger person too. I don't know who that is, but I could see a row of souls there paying her respects to her life and her body. I could see a I don't know who it was, but I could see there was a religious figure that definitely walked here on planet earth, standing with us in the room, praying over her body. The energy was so dizzying in that moment I had to like take a minute, take a breath. I've never felt that way before in any sort of circumstances and I have to be honest with you, it took me a little while to even go near Carol's body Because and this is like the weirdest part I don't know if this is typical, I don't know if this is what others experienced, but I honestly felt like her body still had her energy in it, like I feel like her aura now we all know when we depart, like our souls are kind of on the other side in the spirit world, but I still felt like her energy in it, like I feel like her aura now we all know when we depart, like our souls are kind of on the other side in the spirit world, but I still felt like her energy was in her body and I don't know what that means.

Speaker 1:

I don't know, you know, I haven't really sat and meditated on it, but clearly her presence was still in her physical body and in the room. But I have to tell you it felt a little different than other auras because it felt a little bit scattered. It felt, I don't know, more liquid, like your aura is like your egg and it tends to be pretty solid, and it felt a little more like it was trying to stay in, like it. I don't, I don't know how else to describe this, but anyway, it was just very interesting because it took me a little while to get close to her, um, her body, because I still felt the energy of Carol there, which is really interesting, because I also felt Carol over my shoulder while we were, while Kim was doing her hair and so just to kind of lay the groundwork in terms of the energy in the room, it was palpable, you could feel it. It had a heartbeat, it had a soul. It had so many people in the room almost doing what we do at wakes as humans, but doing it from a soul's perspective and it was so interesting to see that. So back to Kim's experience, because obviously Kim is very intuitive. She could be a medium if she wanted to. You could, kim. But back to Kim's experience.

Speaker 1:

What she ended up doing was placing her backpack on the ground, brought out all of her tools and materials, laid them out on some plastic columns near the casket, and she got to work right. She pulled out that flat iron that she used to curl her client's hair. She had the hairspray, I mean, she had a comb, she had brushes, she had everything to make sure that Carol looked perfect. And as she sat there doing her hair, we oscillated between so many different emotions. I'm going to try really hard not to cry, um, because she reminisced about the stories of this absolutely hilarious client that she had. She talked about, uh, the family that she knows. She talked about, you know, the passing of her husband, as when she was younger she talked about the time where she thought she almost died in her chair before right.

Speaker 1:

So it was this, these moments about these stories, both somber, both funny, and in between all of these stories that Kim shared about Carol, we all we also shared these quiet moments of reflection and this oscillation between the humor, the nostalgia, the quiet moments, I think was just the perfect way for Kim to be able to process what she was doing and calm her nervous system in this obviously very emotional moment. And about halfway through these thoughts and these words of love and these stories that are making us laugh, I start feeling Carol's energy come in and she starts replying to all of Kim's comments with hilarious comments in my mind and it takes me a little while to register this because I'm not looking for them. I'm not sitting there wondering what Carol's thinking, but she's starting to barge in on my brain and starting to drop these hilarious quips which I start relaying to Kim to help her feel you know better about what she's doing and help her kind of process emotionally what she's doing. But I could tell just from the energy of Carol she was just so grateful and so full of love for Kim for doing this for her, and I know that there's no better way she'd want to go out than having Kim do her hair. So, as Kim starts wrapping up and she's feeling really good with how Carol looks you know her hairstylist the hair is so important, everybody. The hair is so important for funeral because it's the last hurrah, it's the last goodbye. You want everybody that walks by and sees her in the casket, you know with with the perfect hair. Let's talk about it because that is who she was and I know through Kim that she was very particular about her hair here in the physical world.

Speaker 1:

So when Kim was finally, she got her pictures out. She's like looking at the old pictures of Carol. She's trying to compare. And when Kim was finally happy with how Carol's hair looked because, by the way, kim is a perfectionist, so she was not going to leave until Carol's hair was perfect, sorry, sorry, um. This and I think this right here is the perfect reflection of how we felt in the moment, because I'm tears are streaming down my face, but it was a really funny thing that Kim said. Kim said well, you have enough hairspray for eternity, carol. Um, I hope you love your hair because you're going to wear it forever. And then I heard Carol hilariously quip in my head you look beautiful. Thank you so much. I look beautiful. How much do I owe you.

Speaker 1:

So, just like right now, in this moment, with our eyes filled with tears, we went to a local restaurant for dinner, toasted carol, and I really reminded Kim how brave, how powerful, how badass she was. To be able to do that for her client, to be able to give her her last beautiful hairstyle into the great beyond, right into the great beyond, right. That hour and a half on a Thursday night was so completely life changing. So I'm just going to take a deep breath here. Breathe with me. Sorry about the booger sound, but I keep reflecting back on this. And here's here are these random jumbled thoughts that I can't really put into a story for you, but it's so important that I call out. These are the things that I processed and this is what I'm walking away with from this amazing experience.

Speaker 1:

Number one is the importance of rituals. Not only do these funeral services allow us, as humans, to have closure for the passing of our loved ones, but it was mind-blowing for me to learn that this is also a ritual for the spirit world, that this is also a ritual for the spirit world. They really do God, I'm a mess everybody. They really do pay respects to our lives, just like we do, and so that I mean that is going to sit with me for the rest of eternity because that's just mind blowing to me and especially because I really think that us, as souls I guess I always walked around with the perspective of us as souls we, we have so many different lifetimes, so for us you know, I've always heard the term this is a blip in our soul's journey.

Speaker 1:

Right, this is just a very small piece. This is like a dream. It's not real. It's the matrix, right, but what I saw in that funeral counteracted everything that I was taught in that space, which is, I think, so important that they do cherish. They do cherish these lives as much as we do, right in the moment, that they do pay homage to this lifetime and its importance in the journey of our souls. It might be a blip in our soul's journey, but a blip that is so important and so deserving of the love and celebration that we give people when they move on from the physical world into the spirit world, and they do the same and they do the same, and I think learning that has been life changing for me and will allow me to have a whole new perspective on how spirits really spirit, souls really approach death and dying, because I think they mourn.

Speaker 1:

I feel like I should record this again. You sound like a prepubescent boy, but they mourn our lives and our passing just like we do. So, I mean, isn't there such beauty in that? Okay, let's breathe again. Can you tell how much this impacted me?

Speaker 1:

I also learned thanks to a semantics class. I've been in more on that later. Okay, I think I'm okay now. I'm going to tell spirit to back the fuck up, because I would not like to cry this whole time I would. I also learned again thanks to the semantics class that I'll talk about later. I'm going to tell spirit to back the fuck up because I would not like to cry this whole time I would. I also learned again thanks to the semantics class that I'll talk about later I'm going to bring Aaron on for that that all of our emotional responses to grief and death and dying and I'm talking about everything we walk through the humor, the tears, the silence, like these are all different ways that we process this huge energy of grief and it allows and allows that energy to move through them and flow through them in whatever way this grief energy wants to come out.

Speaker 1:

And I think you know I've said it, but now I've lived it like there's no right way to grieve. You know I've said it, but now I've lived it like there's no right way to grieve. And it's really important for me and for other mediumship practitioners out there to notice and know that grief is not only tears. Sometimes it shows up in joy and laughter. And as somebody who has lost a lot of people, as somebody who talks to quite a few dead people right, for what I do for a living quite a few is an understatement, by the way I often forget the emotional weight of what we do for work and I want to come in and heal people Like my goal is, like I want people to leave better than they came.

Speaker 1:

But for me, sitting in this, I I realized the value of honoring where people are at and meeting people where they're at and allowing them to feel those big emotions and not rush through them in our sessions, because processing this grief is something that we are helping them through, not just allowing them to know their loved ones are with them. We're helping them process grief. It's moving that stagnant energy through and allowing them to come out the other side. So I'm going to be approaching, I think, my sessions with my clients I'm going to say differently I don't know what this means yet, but I think I'm going to be more cognizant of how grief can show up for different people and not just assume, because my client is laughing, that they're okay. That can also be just a really big indicator that they're hurting a lot. And it's more about the amplification, the volume, so to speak, of the emotion, not necessarily the way that it's being expressed. That's what I'm going to pay attention to from now on.

Speaker 1:

And then also for those of you that care for the dead the funeral home directors, the hospice professionals, the makeup artists, the hairstylists I want you to know the immense value you provide in transitioning these souls to the other side, and I want you to know that what you do is sacred work.

Speaker 1:

It's, it's only for the brave, for the strong, the ones that can hold these big, complicated emotions.

Speaker 1:

And I also want you to know that you not only provide closure and healing to the families that you can see with your physical eyes, but also for the souls that you transition and their families on the other side. And so I would like to end this wet, crying mess of an episode, something that Kim texted to me when I, when I texted her to ask permission to tell this story, and she was telling her daughter about the passing of Carol and how Carol's no longer with us here in the physical plane, and she told her daughter that Carol just borrowed a body in the shell and that she grew her shell and she's now on to another journey, and I thought that was so, so beautiful. Thank you so much for listening to the story, for me choking up constantly. I truly appreciate you, kim, for allowing me to share this journey and this story with everybody, and, for those of you that are listening, I hope you know that your loved ones love you so much and, from my soul to yours, I hope you have a beautiful day. Take care.

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