Empower Your Soul

The Mediumship Triangle Fallacy: Why Pre-Linking Works

• Medium Nicole • Season 1 • Episode 124

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What happens when you break the unwritten rules of spiritual connection? For mediums and intuitive readers, the question of whether to "pre-link" with spirits before a formal reading session has long been controversial.

Throughout my journey as a medium, I've discovered that many so-called metaphysical rules are actually human constructs—not universal spiritual laws. Pre-linking, the practice of connecting with spirits before your sitter arrives, is traditionally discouraged. Most teachers insist on the sanctity of the "mediumship triangle" where medium, spirit, and sitter must be simultaneously present for a successful connection.

Yet my experience tells a different story. When I first began developing as a medium, pre-linking became my secret confidence-builder. By connecting with spirits beforehand, I overcame my self-consciousness about how long it took me to establish clear communication. This practice allowed me to build trust in my abilities without performance anxiety blocking the connection. While traditionalists insist this approach is flawed, it helped me transition into becoming a confident medium who could eventually connect instantaneously.

The revelation that truly transformed my understanding is recognizing that the mediumship triangle doesn't actually exist. What influences your connection isn't the sitter's presence, but your own energetic response to their feedback. A validating client doesn't magically amplify spirit energy—they increase your confidence, which raises your vibration. Similarly, a skeptical sitter doesn't block spirit—they trigger your self-doubt, which lowers your frequency.

Whether you're developing your mediumship abilities or seeking to strengthen your personal connection with guides and loved ones, remember that your confidence and vibration matter more than following rigid rules. The greatest challenge most spiritual practitioners face isn't technique—it's trusting their connection without seeking external validation. Experiment with pre-linking if it serves your development, particularly when connecting with pets or non-human spirits where traditional approaches may feel limiting.

Ready to deepen your spiritual connections? Try challenging the rules that don't serve you and discover what truly works for your unique intuitive abilities.

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Speaker 1:

To pre-link or not pre-link? That is the question we are going to talk about today on Empower your Soul podcast. So we are going to get a little bit more into the mediumship space today and or any sort of reading space today ding to talk about pre-linking and what that means and how that's a benefit and also how that can hinder you a little bit, because this question has come up a couple times in the past few days. So I know it is a wonderful topic to talk about here on the podcast. Now, what is pre-linking? Pre-linking is essentially tapping into spirit for a client-facing reading and or practice reading that's fine too in advance of the session. So that is building your power and connecting with a spirit meant to be read in a reading before the reading starts.

Speaker 1:

And this is a really controversial subject. I know Mediumship. There's so many opinions over here in this space where we can't literally see the people and it's just we're talking to the dead, but you wouldn't think the dead would be so controversial. But here we are. We're talking to the dead, but you wouldn't think the dead would be so controversial, but here we are. And so I have been taught many times over the course of my career, that pre-linking is a huge metaphysical no-no. And let's talk about that, because pre-linking means that I am connecting to the spirit of, let's say, a grandfather before my client is sitting in front of me and I'm gathering information and talking to this grandfather without any sort of validation from my sitter, about him, about evidence, about messages, and I'm really just kind of chatting with him before the session starts.

Speaker 1:

Now there are pluses and minuses to this. I'm going to start with the minuses for a minute, because traditionally, the way that mediumship is taught this is probably the crux of where I'm supposed to go is that there is a spiritual connection triangle. So most mediums will talk about the triangle connection between us, our sitter and the spirit and that all three points of the triangle need to be in place for a successful evidential mediumship session. And while I do believe that, yes, the client needs to be there to validate the information, a lot of mediums will talk about how the energy of the sitter weighs into the energy of the reading and that having the sitter's energy ding will help the connection with spirit and the connection of the evidence, of the messages and essentially making the session more clear if the session is going well. So you do need the energy of the spirit, the medium as well as the sitter, to make a successful spiritual connection. That is the triangle that everyone talks about.

Speaker 1:

So there are a lot of mediumship teacher purists that say, without the sitter there, as you're pre-linking, you do not have all legs of the stool right, all ends of the triangle. So therefore you cannot make a good mediumship connection. And again, as you can deduce what I'm about to say, those are the traditional black and white mediumship teachers that tend to be in the spiritualist church space, as well as those who do not have an original thought to their name and they just repeat and regurgitate the same information from spirit. But here is oh, hang on, before I go there, there is some validity to that. If you are a newer medium and or if you are somebody who doesn't trust what you're receiving from spirit, it's better to just wait, like it really is most of the time, because if you are still learning how to connect, how to receive evidence, how to validate right, you need that validation. Yes, pre-linking probably not your best choice, but here is, the reality of my experience with pre-linking is that it can be incredibly valuable. So again, I'm going to stick to the mediumship space here for a moment and then I'm going to talk about connecting with guides. So, in terms of the mediumship space, a lot of us are confident in our ability to connect. So this is after you've had the initial class, after you've you know that you can connect with spirit, after you know that you can validate evidence with your sitter and it's right you know, more more often than not I'm going to say it that way and so you're pretty confident in your ability to connect with departed loved ones.

Speaker 1:

And in this case, pre-linking can be okay and it can be a little bit of an advantage. So let's talk about where it's an advantage and where it can really trip you up. Because the advantage is, when I started my metaphysical career at training as a medium, I did not have a lot of sitters and, to be honest with you, it took me a long time for me to connect and receive the information from spirit and interpret it and and this is probably due to me being a perfectionist, me wanting to get all of the information, and so I just didn't feel comfortable sitting with a sitter in front of me while I very quietly for what felt like way too long for me connected and received evidence and information. So what I would do instead to practice is that I would call somebody and I would be like, hey, I'm going to connect to your departed loved one. You know, is there someone you wanted to talk to? Are you okay with whoever comes through? They might give me a name, they might say whoever, and then I would hang up the phone and I would connect and I would write down all of my evidence, all of my messages, and then I would call them back and relay what I just received from their departed loved one. Is it the best strategy? No, but it helped me overcome my fear of things coming in slowly or things coming in incomplete, and it gave me the confidence I needed, with this different approach, to continue forward on my mediumship journey. Because I don't think I would have continued forward if I were forced to sit one-on-one with somebody and receive information, really slow, because I would have been very self-conscious about that and my readings would have been shit and eventually I would have quit provide additional information or evidence or validation, which was always lovely, but I didn't need it because I'd already received the brunt of the evidence and the message to relay to my sitters. Um, some of you might be freaking out about what I just said, whether that's good, and you're like, oh my God, that's amazing, I should try that. Or some of you are like she's fucking crazy, that would never work. I can tell you that it worked very, very well for me again to build the confidence. It didn't last very long. It might have lasted a month or two, but it did again give me that space to test it out, so that was a very awesome approach for me in terms of pre-linking.

Speaker 1:

In addition, during my first mediumship course I'm not going to digress about the teacher. I've done that a million times During my first mediumship course, where I was just fucking learning at the very beginning of my journey I forgot what happened, but I was driving somewhere before my practice session that evening and it was going to be one of the first times I was going to actually sit with a sitter that wasn't my teacher and I was really, really nervous about that, and so what I ended up doing was opening up to spirit while I'm kind of driving and chauffeuring my kids' places and I'm like who's going to come through tonight? Can we chat, can we practice chauffeuring my kids' places, and I'm like who's going to come through tonight? Can we chat, can we practice? So the spirit I was going to read ended up coming through, ding, and he came through and it was a grandfather and I was able to read him. And so what was so cool is that this grandfather brought through evidence for me while I was driving. I could see that he was in a uniform like a military or someone uniform. I could see like there was a brother like I could see that he was in a uniform like a military or some odd uniform. I could see like there was a brother like I could see a couple of core pieces of evidence which you know, four or five meetings, readings in four or five classes in a mediumship, like that's pretty awesome. So I proudly I was like, yeah, I got awesome information from this grandfather.

Speaker 1:

So I get on the phone later that evening, or it was a Zoom and my teacher's there and the sitter is there, somebody I don't know, one of her other students, and he's there ready to receive the reading. And I very proudly state, well, you know, I was chatting with him earlier today and my teacher's jaw dropped on the fucking floor, like dropped on the floor, and was just like you're not supposed to do that. And I was like you never told me not to. This is the MO of my original teacher. You never told me not to. And she's like, well, it's really risky to pull in a spirit before reading Jokes on her. It all landed in true, true form to spirit for me and so I ended up starting with what I knew and then proceeding to kind of finish up the reading, because I only remember two or three or four pieces of evidence, but those landed and then I was able to continue the reading. So it was, I'm going to say, overall successful.

Speaker 1:

But I think this alludes to the fact that it is a little risky sometimes to pre-read. And here's where to draw the line in terms of pre-linking before a session. Because if you are trying to pre-link before a session and you're writing it down, like I was right, and you're taking it verbatim and you're getting really stuck on the evidence they give you, it can kind of narrow your mindset, it can narrow your connection with spirit so that you're not open to receiving more or different information when you sit with the sitter. So essentially what you're doing when you pre-link is you're getting the information and then when you relay it back, you're not relaying it through a connection with spirit, you're relaying it from your mind in your memories, which is the exact opposite of connecting with spirit. So when you're relaying the information back to the sitter after pre linking, you're not actually, like, really connected to spirit, you're connected to your mind, which is going to make it more difficult for you to get into that connection and that vibration with spirit.

Speaker 1:

So I can understand why most people would have huge difficulty pre-linking if you aren't aware that being in your mind space can hinder you from connecting with spirit. So you might read all the, all the information you've collected and then you go to see if spirits there and you're in the wrong vibration. You're in, you're in your like human vibration and you haven't amplified your power, set the intention to move into the mediumship vibration, and so they're not there, and so that can really mess with a lot of people if you don't understand the mechanics of what's going on there which, by the way, none of my teachers have ever explained to me. But doesn't it make perfect sense, right? And so this can be very beneficial if you're very quick to jump between me and the spirit world, your human mind vibration in the spirit world, which obviously I've trained myself to do. So that spirit is always in my ear, even when I'm in my mind space and analytical space, right, even when I'm in my what is it? Alpha, no, sorry, the beta brainwaves. Spirit's always right there, so they can, I can still pick up on everything. And so and I think this was I can still pick up on everything. And so and I think this was I should have known this at the very beginning.

Speaker 1:

I should have known this would be my path with Spirit, because they had me pre-linking before. My teacher said you're not supposed to do that, right? Whenever any teacher says it's not possible, you're not supposed to do it, spirit literally is just like watch, watch her, do it. I'm here to break all of the rules, everybody. That's my job in terms of the mediumship and spiritual connection space. I'm here to break all the rules and show you that anything's possible. There are no rules. That's a human concept. So that is where pre-linking can be really good if it helps you build up your confidence, if you're using it as a practice tool and if you are um? Um able to move into the mediumship vibration relatively quickly and not get stuck there if you're relaying the information to your sitter, so like there's there's. Those are kind of the pluses and minuses there.

Speaker 1:

Where I find pre-linking to be the most beneficial is working with guides, and I don't know if this is a me thing, but I find that when I pre-connect with guides and I especially if I'm mentoring et cetera I will check in with our guides and I will ask you know, hey, how's it going today? What do we need to know? What are we going to focus on? What are some of the topics right? That's really really beneficial for me to know what are we talking about today, not necessarily because I need it, but like we could talk about anything under the sun. And it's really good for me to at least know where have some bullet points of what are we talking about, so that I can naturally move through those bullet points without getting lost maybe in the weeds of or going down rabbit holes of things that we don't necessarily need to talk about. So the guides use pre-linking to keep me on track with readings, which I love.

Speaker 1:

Where I am less leery or sorry. Where I'm more leery, less likely to pre-connect, is with mediumship readings. I know, I know I don't. I used to do it, now I don't do it anymore and what I've found is that I'll often check. So I do take a few minutes to get into the zone before my readings and I'll connect with their guides or their departed loved one and I'm like do you want me to connect? And more often than not right now, the answer is no, just go into it. When I do connect, sometimes I'll get again that list of bullet points of like what's the tone of this reading? Is it positive or negative? Right, are we talking about? Is this? You know, I might get the you know grandma, brother, friend coming through, so I kind of know who to expect.

Speaker 1:

But for the most part, at this stage in the game, spirit's just like they don't want me to waste my time pre-linking and because that doesn't that just wreak ego, doesn't it just wreak? I want control. Yeah, that's me, I'm sorry, I still try to, though I still like who doesn't like to know what they're walking into? Because it feels so good and it works so well with guides that I figure we can do the same with departed loved ones. And they're like no, we don't want to do that, we just want it to be authentic and in the moment, and so what will typically happen, at least at this stage in the game, is that I will connect and they will give me false information to purposely trip me up, to be like cut the shit, nicole, we told you we didn't want to connect, so that will happen too. Isn't that fun? Yeah, so that will happen, so I so. I guess that's that leads me to.

Speaker 1:

When I do not pre link, which is now in the space of evidential mediumship, and I do not connect in advance to Akashic Records. Nope, I might tap into the guides before an Akashic Records reading to be like what are we talking about? But for the most part, the Akashic Records are like we got it, we don't need you to pre-link. And the dead people are like we don't need you to pre-link, but, true, in guide form. They will talk your ear off and then talk your ear off again right, because you have two ears and then they will probably talk some more, even though you can't hear anything, because that's what guides do. They're just, they're funny, they are, they are love and light and they just they want to give so much help, and so they're always there trying to help you with everything and anything under the sun. Oh, okay, I'm seeing if there's anything else and and pets are coming up right now, so let me ask. I'm seeing pets in my head so, um, if anyone is out there trying to learn how to pre-link pets can be a really cool space, so I'm.

Speaker 1:

I guess where they want me to add is in terms of pre-linking anything that feels atypical. So, like, pets generally feel atypical for a lot of people, because a lot of people are not expecting pets or don't know how pets communicate. Because I think we're used to connecting in terms of mediumship with departed loved ones, people that have voice boxes right, people that can talk and walk and all these things, and so connecting with them feels really natural and normal because they are us right, they used to have a physical body. It feels very easy to communicate with that. Where it feels less easy to communicate and where you can get in your head a little bit, is a great place to do a little pre-linking. So, like animals, connecting with departed pets, that pre-linking is probably a really good idea because it allows you to kind of move through your own bias, your own energy, and help move you past your own misconceptions about connecting to the spirit world in terms of pets and allows you to enter the reading in a good space, already processing through your expectations, so that you can just show up and do the reading. So that would be a really, really good place to practice is kind of what they're saying there.

Speaker 1:

And then bringing it back to that mediumship triangle that we were talking about because I didn't cover that and this will probably be another podcast episode eventually is that, when it comes down to all of this stuff that I just talked about, I think it's all possible, because I don't think the triangle of connection exists. Yep, I said it, the mediumship triangle does not exist. I feel like I'm on Mean Girls. The limit does not exist. That limit does not exist everybody. And the reason I say that is because, just like I'm talking, you're listening to me and you can chat with your own team and you can chat with your own departed loved ones. You don't need a third party to come in on the conversation. You don't, because we are souls, we are spirit and we can connect to any level of spirit if we are trained and open enough for it.

Speaker 1:

And so this idea of the sitter being part of the mediumship triangle makes me scratch my head, because we don't need a sitter to connect with spirit. They can help or hurt your reading, though, which I think is a valid point within the mediumship triangle, because if your sitter is there, and they're validating the evidence and they're validating the information, what is happening is that their energy is amplified with your energy to improve the connection to spirit. So can they help? Absolutely yes, likewise, yes, likewise. What will happen if your sitter is a skeptic and says no and doesn't take your information or your evidence? That will lower the vibration of the general reading and make it more difficult to connect right. So a good sitter amplifies.

Speaker 1:

A critical sitter I'm going to say it that way might decrease your vibration and make it more difficult to connect. Why do you think that is Because I'll tell you what you're connected to spirit. But why do you think your vibration increases with a good sitter and decreases with a bad sitter? And I'll give you the hint it's not their energy, it's your reaction to their energy, it's the fact that they're puffing you up and making you feel good about the validation, and so you trust spirit more, and so that amplifies your spirit more, your energy more. It makes your vibration higher and improves your connection with spirit and improves your connection with spirit.

Speaker 1:

Likewise, if you have a sitter that keeps saying no or discounts you or doesn't believe you, or is sitting in there with their arms crossed not saying anything, you're going to feel less secure, less confident in your reading and you, in turn, are going to decrease your vibration and the reading is going to get worse. And so I'm going to challenge and I'll fight. I'll fight you. I'll fight you If you disagree. Not really, I won't fight you, but I'm open to conversation.

Speaker 1:

But my biggest argument right now is there is no triangle. It's your ego should be the third level, the third thing in the triangle, not the sitter, because it's your ego's response to the sitter, whether you did good or did bad, which impacts your vibration, which brings it back to you. So there's no triangle, it's just you and spirit. And so this is why we can have fucking slam dunk readings with shitty sitters. Can have fucking slam dunk readings with shitty sitters, right? Because if you ignore your sitter and you just connect with spirit and you go, you're going to have a great connection.

Speaker 1:

Likewise, if you have a really amazing sitter and you do shit, maybe it's just your energy that's low that day. Maybe you're beating yourself up, you're being too critical of what they're bringing through, even though your sitter is so fucking enthralled with the way that you read and we've all had them right. If you feel like you've had a really shit reading, but it changes somebody's life, it's you. It's your energy that changed it, not the sitter's. You're the one who brought the vibration down Because you didn't like what was brought through. Your ego said this isn't good enough and so, yeah, I'm going to challenge everybody.

Speaker 1:

This is why direct versus not direct is part of the equation, but it's also the triangle of spirit and how it doesn't exist and how it's just you and spirit and your ego's reaction to the sitter, and that is probably the number one thing that most mediums need to work on. That is, building confidence is doing what you do and not worrying about how the sitter is reacting to any of it. That's the biggest hurdle most mediums face. So there you go. There is my direct versus not direct in my mediumship triangle fallacy podcast episode for you. I hope this was value add for all of you.

Speaker 1:

I hope you all ponder this for nights and weeks, because this is what I do all the time is, I think about all these things. It's literally you can't see. It's on my whiteboard to my right is is this whole thing about? How quote giant letters all uppercase that says not a triangle. It's been up here for months and now I'm finally talking about it. So there you go, enjoy your not triangle. Look for the lines no triangles and go direct if you, or go pre link if you feel like it. Give it a try and see how it feels for you. All right, sending you all love. I hope you all have a wonderful day. Take care.

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